TWISTED THOUGHTS

Have I met you before? Because I feel like your presence is getting more and more familiar.. 

I think my heart and my soul has met you before so it leads to my body wanting more. Intrigued by your existence as if God didn’t leave anything missin’.

Wanting to see and feel more of you and slowly revealing all my darkest secrets but as if you already knew.

Brushing off all my flaws an imperfections as if it was God’s beautiful way of teaching me a lesson. 

Subtly making me forget everything from my past because I know that our love will outlast. 

You’ve shown me depths of myself that I never knew existed, my heart and my soul must know you because they surrendered to you even when my mind resisted. 

I may not have remembered your face but your heart and your soul is something that could never be replaced. 

I remember you... 

By Example

The lessons and paths that we take are not just for us, they are to be exuded through how we live and how we speak. We either become what we’ve learned or we learn not become something, there is no in between. We are the living examples for the next generation to come, the children that surround you. They listen, they imitate, and they admire you whether you know it or not. We have to start looking at ourselves as the elders now in order for us to actually assume that role later in life. The examples that you set now will stick with them for a lifetime, we are no longer the children, we are the adults that are being watched in so many ways. With so much corruption and ill intent out in the world, the kids have to rely on us for the answers on which paths to take and not to take. Invest in being an example with the chances that it’ll make someone’s life better than your own. Life is supposed to get better with time and with each generation, but if the generation before yours didn’t learn or lead by example you have no guidance, you’ll only have examples of what not to do, which leads you to figuring out what’s right by yourself. Lead by example and learn by example so that the next generation can do the same. 

Reciprocation

I believe that our souls are energy in a life form and that they are either high vibrational or low vibrational, either way it goes they have a set vibration. In order for us to maintain our vibrations we must nourish our souls with the things and people that satisfy them, in the same manner we must give our energies to the people who are worthy of them for our satisfaction as well. This is what I call high frequency reciprocation. Reciprocation isn’t always about what someone is giving to you, more importantly, it’s about what you are giving. Energy can never be destroyed, therefore it’ll always find its way back to its rightful owner because it belongs to them, this is why I say that reciprocation has more to do with the person giving off the energy rather than the receiver. You’ll never be able to get the exact energy you want from people that aren’t for you, it’s impossible, but you can give off the energy you want for yourself to others until you find a true soul connection, that way it has the ability to come back to you. When your soul is mature enough it’ll attract your true soul connection and there will be continuous high frequency reciprocation between the two, your energy will be their energy and your vibrations will be their vibrations. Harboring your energy because you feel as though others don’t “deserve” it disservice’s you more than anything because you’re not allowing it the room it needs to grow which then leads you to having an immature soul. The soul is a living thing, treat it as such so it can grow and find the other soul it needs to vibrate at a high frequency. 

Patience

Patience is the most precious thing known to man. Patience teaches you more about the climb than the view from the top, it allows one to fully understand each situation they are placed in and can be the main reason they are able to get out of situations. Often times we try to put matters into our own hands and make impulsive decisions that we believe are right for us at a certain time in our lives, but when you act off of impulse you aren’t able to make comprehensive decisions, you’re only acting for now and not for later. Patience teaches us to live in the moment while still setting ourselves up for our futures. When we make impulsive decisions it sets us off our divine paths which then leads to us having to take time to get ourselves back together and aligned with our purposes, when in reality we could of just took time from the beginning to make a more purposeful decision. I’m not sure if you have noticed but when you are in-tune with yourself you can feel when things are off or if your energy isn’t right, 9 times out of 10 it’s because of a choice that you made out of impulse or uncomprehendingly. With patience these mistakes become null, you’re able to trust yourself more and trust that whatever is for you WILL be for you. If you truly believe that you are a good person only good things will come your way, we invite the unwanted things into our lives through the impulsive decisions we make and not trusting that what’s meant for us will be for us. Think carefully about the choices you make, take your time when making a decision and trust yourself. Allow yourself room to grow and learn, you cannot be patient with others or have any type of expectations if you cannot be patient with yourself. Patience, ironically, is learned throughout life, you have to actually be patient with yourself first in order to have patience. 

Family Ties

There are many things that we have no control over when we are placed on this earth and family is one of them. I believe that we cannot choose our family ourselves because they’ve already been handpicked for us for a reason and our job is to learn from them. But the biggest problem with family is that we try to change them instead of letting them be who they are and that’s where the conflict, misunderstandings and generational curses lie. Often times we think it’s out of love and genuine care for them, but if you love and genuinely care for them then you’d let them be who they want to be, just as you would want the same for yourself. I’m not saying who they want to be is right for them or that we should just let our family members spiral into failure, but you cannot force people to change or force people to see life as you see it. The differences in family is also the uniqueness in family. Instead of trying to change or rearrange each others morals and ways of thinking, try to listen, understand, and accept the differences that lie within your family. We have to allow people to be theirselves so we could have the opportunity to be ourselves. Like I said in the beginning, when we came into this world we had no control over who our families were, so it would be crazy for one to think that now that they’re in this world they’d have the ability to change them. The things you cannot change are the things that are most important in your life, learn from them and grow because of them. 

TWISTED THOUGHTS

If I am the rose that grew from concrete then you are the concrete that allowed me to grow.

  Allowing me to bloom through every crack in your foundation and to shine as if it was your lives’ dedication.

Appreciating my every worth and keeping me grounded on this earth. 

You allowed me to blossom into the rose that I am today without picking my pedals or taking my thorns away. 

Forever and always will I appreciate you,

 you allowed a flower to attract life which brought life back to you. Now the cycles of life can be completed because you allowed the rose to grow and provided her with everything that she needed. 

CLOSURE

The chapters in our lives are filled with events, people, and lessons that have happened to us within a period of time, a season. Some things and people are meant to last more than a season and some aren’t, this is why it’s important for us to be able to distinguish between when something or someone is good for us or not as we move throughout our lives and grow. Not everyone grows at the same rate, therefore you may get left behind, someone you’re dealing with may leave you behind, or you’re both just growing in separate directions and that’s fine. The point that I’m trying to make isn’t that we as people grow and we leave people and the events in a certain season behind, I think that that’s pretty self explanatory. What I’m trying to say is is that the most important and over looked part about growth and moving on to the next chapter is closure. Closure allows a full circle of life at a period of time and closure teaches us more about ourselves than anything else, which is why I believe closure is the ultimate test of growth. If you think about it, facing a situation head on, that you probably have been a avoiding for a long time, is not easy and can go wrong if you get caught in your emotions, but when someone has fully grown they can go back to any situation face it with a new attitude and truly be able understand and elaborate why the chapter should be closed. Not every closure situation has to come from a toxic ending, closure allows ones self to speak on why they’re closing the chapter with something or someone, closure is a self realization tool but can only be contained through self realization. Which brings me to the point, if you cannot close chapters in your life with people and have people from the past continuously lingering in your life you have no real growth nor self realization. Which then leads you to a life of open-ended chapters because you weren’t capable of closing them yourself. Please be mindful of your “growth”, the most important lessons that we learn in life are not from what’s happening to us at the moment but from the lessons of the past, close your past so you can actually grow and move on to the next chapter, if not you’ll be learning the same lesson over and over again until you finally get it.

TWISTED THOUGHTS

This material world has made you into a material girl. Looking for men with diamonds and things that are shining instead of morals and men who are loyal. But it’s the lifestyle that fuels you so you settle for men that use you and never muse you. 

If only she knew her purpose was to bear life that was better than before she’d focus on herself inner self more. But she’s apart of this world that tells her that her outside appearance matters more than her future children. She’s only playing the cards that she was dealt, instead of dealing them from her inner self. 

If only she knew that she bears the fruit that men need to produce, then she’d know that she’s the secret weapon that could stop men from the cycle of sin.

But this material world has made her crave what her eyes could see and her hands could touch so she doesn’t have the desire to focus on her inner self too much. 

If only she knew that she was the very thing that inspires men, from grandmas, to moms, to sisters, men thrive for them. Men use women as motivation to strive for the best, but todays women have made them strive for less. They chase after material goals that bring them no growth forcing men to never really settle down and reach their full potential. 

But these material girls in this material world don’t know their own divine rights, they’re just a whole bunch Eves persuading Adams to take a bite. 

If only HE knew that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, then he’d know that choosing a woman is a major key in building the foundation of his legacy. 

Compassion Over Vengeance

There are two types of people in this world, people that give to life and people who take from life, we become the life that we live and our actions become us, this is why it’s always important to think before you react and learn from each reaction. Most of the times when we react in an irrational manner it’s because of our internal fight or flight response, when we feel stressed or attacked we get in survival mode and automatically protect our egos and our feelings. If someone or a certain situation moves us the wrong way we try to make others feel the same way that we felt instead of dealing with it on our own. But what we are really doing is putting that negative energy back into the world without fully realizing that it will always come back to us in some way, shape or form. If we think before we react and take the time to feel our emotions and resonate them into words or more controlled actions then we will be able to express ourselves in a more understanding manner. A calm mind is a sound mind, we are supposed to feel emotions, not act them out, every time you react the wrong way it takes you off of your destined course and you move backward rather than forward. Each encounter you have, whether that be with a situation or a person, that moves you the wrong way or takes you out of your natural element should be a lesson learned that way you’re always moving towards the positive. Yeah life is going to be difficult and scary at times but if you haven’t noticed life is also a pattern, shit is always going to happen, you’ll never be able to control it. But what you can control is how you react to the situations you are placed in, that’s the only dependent variable in life, you. How do you want to say you spent the majority of your life, getting through shit or going through shit? 

TWISTED THOUGHTS

Is it bad that I never want the title of a “girlfriend” again?... it’s just that I feel like girlfriends get the least of men. 

As a girlfriend I have to show you I can be a wife, show you I can support you through all of your strife. It’s like I’m playing this role hoping one day you’ll choose me but in the end all that shit just seems like foolery. 

Don’t get me wrong, one day I’ll love being someones backbone but I’m just not down for the audition and on top of that I’m a woman with goals on a mission with lots of ambition. 

 I’m not the right woman for that role, being a “girlfriend” has never been one of my goals. So I can’t perform this role in your play and I will understand if you have to give my spot away. I’m just too busy making my own motion picture, if I stop now and perform in yours I’ll only get a feature. You’ll get the staring role and I’ll be beside you playing my part in your beautiful work of art. 

But I refuse to live my life in the shadows so I’ll stick to my own script, you can admire me from afar like an audience. Hopefully that’ll give you enough insight to see that I’m more than what a wife should be. 

Then you’ll be able to see why the role of being a “girlfriend” is so belittling to me. 

Expectations

One of our major downfalls as people is that we place expectations on others. Just like we shouldn’t feel the need to meet the expectations that people set for us, they shouldn’t feel need to do the same in return. When we expect people to do something or be something for us we are hoping, believing and waiting for it to actually happen, but there is no guarantee that it will happen. To say that we will never have expectations for people is unrealistic, but what is realistic is knowing yourself, knowing what you want/need and then setting a standard and boundaries for the people in your life to follow. The only way to successfully accomplish this is through diligence and communication. Sticking to what you want and need for yourself and communicating that effectively with the people in your life so that everyone is aligned and on common ground. There are going to be people who won’t want to meet your standards or even care about your boundaries but from there is where diligence comes into play, if they can’t meet your standards or at least make an effort to try then what’s the point of having them in your life? On the contrary we have to evaluate ourselves and ask what do we bring to the table as well? If you aren’t being beneficial you can’t expect others to be beneficial for you either. You have to become what you want/need in order to attract it, no one will take you seriously if you don’t take yourself seriously. That also means that you cannot be hesitant to let people go who aren’t willing to meet your standards, the longer you let them linger in your life the longer they hold space and time for those that will. Stop waiting for people to change for you, instead  make the changes to yourself, once you do that the rest will follow. 

TWISTED THOUGHTS

With so many ways to communicate I can’t help but feel like it’s only made us more distant. I know that I can contact someone in an instant but it’s only made me feel more resistant.

I want to get back to the old fashioned lifestyle like hand written letters and love that you can feel from miles and miles. Taking the time to express your emotions with your words leaving no feelings left unheard.

Now-a-days people think actions speak louder than words but forget that words are of affirmation. Once you show me you can stick to your word you can have all my gratification.

See words mean more to me than anything, God said “life or death are in the power of the tongue”, so if you can woo me over with word play followed by actions then baby you’ve won. 

But this modern day communication has gotten us all off course, we read texts and emails but barely know the source.

I need to know the real you or I can’t communicate efficiently, small talk bores me so please take me out my misery. This touch screen has made us all lack substance which is why I’m so reluctant.  I can’t fall in love with someone that’s artificial and holds no weight, I need someone to hold me down  and keep me in place. 
But we’re stuck in a dimension where computer love is all that’s offered, if that’s all you have then baby please don’t bother. 

Settling

I don’t know who needs to hear this but choosing yourself is not settling. Too often are there times where we are placed in predicaments where we have to choose one side or the other, but there’s always a 3rd choice and it’s you. Choosing to remove yourself from a situation or even choosing to just focus on yourself entirely without giving your energy to the situation at the time is not settling and if people cannot understand that then they probably don’t have your best interest in mind. The people involved may try to make you feel bad or even throw jabs at you for doing this but you have to remember that each choice that you make falls on you, no one else. It’s you that has to deal with the consequences of your decisions not the person who’s pressuring you to pick a side. If there’s a clear choice and you feel completely comfortable with it go for it, but if you’re torn between the two and can’t make a conscience decision don’t force it, go for the 3rd choice. In the end you’re choosing yourself therefore you could never lose. 

TWISTED THOUGHTS

I can’t blame you for not seeing past this exterior that God has hand crafted. My full lips, my soft skin and my thick thighs make you go blind to the  fact that I’m much more than that. My looks may lure you in but I’m more than what you see. If you get distracted by the outside me, you’ll never have a chance to meet the inner me.

What you don’t realize is God has made a master piece on top of a master piece. 

Consequently, you being infatuated with my exterior makes me feel superior to you and your male ego, so don’t get mad when I make this a game and play with you like a toy.

Luring you in like my prey, but only using you as my bait for the bigger catch. I’m sorry but this was like a game to me, you see? you can’t blame me for you not being able to see past my full lips, my soft skin and my thick thighs, a distraction at its best. 

My mind was always in control but your concern was only with what my body could do, an exquisite decoy,

you couldn’t see me for me, so who was really the toy?

Success vs. Satisfaction

The next man doesn’t always need to know your next move or even your last move. As a generation I believe we are all guilty of this, flaunting our accomplishments and telling more people than we need to about our next moves, but when are we going to realize that this very thing is handicapping us? When we continue to flaunt our accomplishments we a get accommodated to the feeling of being “successful” in some way, which can be true, but you’re still not your most successful therefore you cannot claim success just yet. Doing this will allow others to place an expectation on you and that then makes us place an expectation on ourselves to deliver, but who are you trying to impress, are you running after success to please yourself or others? If you’re chasing success to please others you’ll never feel like what you’ve done is enough because you have never truly done anything to satisfy yourself, but if you move in silence and cheer yourself on your success will be everlasting and fulfilling to your soul. Think about why you’re chasing success, what real success is to you and at least consider the fact that being successful doesn’t always mean having an audience to cheer you on. 

TWISTED THOUGHTS

Can I admire you from a distance and fantasize about your existence in mine? Or is it too much to not want you physically? 

Because physically you do not stimulate me. Your potential feeds my soul, your potential makes my juices flow, the thought of you leaves no boundaries to the things that I could do.... 

but physically you ...

Physical you doesn’t compare to what I’ve romanticized, my eyes won’t let me see past potential you, all the things we could of done if you and I were actually one. 

One mind, one body, one soul... 

guess I’ll just have to settle for potential...

Weakest Link

The easiest thing we could do as people is give up; give up on our problems, give up on the people that are here for us or give up on our dreams which all correlates to giving up on ourselves. The problems that we face through out our lives mold us into the people we are destined to be. The people that are meant to help us and guide us, teach us lessons that will last us through out our lifetimes. Our dreams have been planted in us even before birth because our dreams are vivid pictures of where we want to go and where we want to be, our destinies. If we give up on these things we give up on ourselves and our growth and we become stagnant creatures that just live day to day without any progression. You are your strongest and weakest opponent, you get out of life what you put into life and if you continue to give up and take the easy route, only unchallenging things will come to you. You won’t be equipped enough to handle the real battles of life because you’ve settled for the easy route your whole life. Face your problems, resolve them so you can take on something bigger, each obstacle you face comes with an even bigger reward, I’m not sure about y’all but I want all the smoke and I want everything that’s meant for me, I can’t stop, won’t stop until I get it. 

Be Honest

Honesty is and will always be the best policy. When you’re honest with yourself and those that you’re involved with, you will create better situations for yourself and them. In today’s society honesty is being misconstrued into other things such as hate, someone’s “opinion” or jealously, which can be very true sometimes, that’s why it’s important to keep honest people that you trust around you but it seems as though we are doing the opposite. It seems like we are afraid of honesty and we are moving further away from it which then leads to pushing those away that are honest with us. Social media doesn’t make it any better because now we have the ability to create these false realities of our lives on the internet and make “friends” through it who are doing the same, which then leads us to feel like we aren’t alone. The reality of it is you are alone, and you’ve pushed the people away that have been honest with you to replace them with people who truly don’t know what you’re like besides what you post. The point that I’m making is, it’s easy to call someone a hater or jealous when they make claims about you or if they’re giving you advice that you might not want to hear. It’s even easier to listen to the positive things people say on social media and rely on that feedback instead of the previous but in all honesty they do not know you and you do not know them, but the feeling of someone having something positive to say about you is like a drug, an addiction that’s hard to subdue. Don’t get caught up with this virtual life and forget that you have a REAL life where not everything is going as perfect as you picture on social media, be honest with yourself. 

TIME

Time is the most valuable thing we have to offer as human beings, it takes time to unlock your souls desires, time to make money, and time to build real relationships amongst many other things. So how we spend our time and what we do with our time matters. This is a simple concept to grasp but it’s hard for many to understand it because we still tend to misuse our time, so let me make it easier for you to grasp; we don’t spend our money on things we don’t like, we walk right past the things that don’t interest us because it’s not worth our hard earned money, and if we do make the mistake by buying something that doesn’t fulfill our desires, most of the time we have a grace period to return it back, so we do and we’re able to get our money back. The point that I’m making is you can NEVER get the time you’ve spent back, you cannot put your time into someone or something and then ask for it back after you’ve realized it didn’t fulfill your desires. This is why it’s important to spend your time wisely because it’s the best thing you have to offer, HOWEVER if you don’t value yourself or your time you spend it frivolously. Learning how to spend your time will help with how you value others’ time as well, which will then create healthy balances and relationships because no time will be wasted. You become how you spend your time, it begins to wear on you as time goes by, so don’t spend your time learning countless life lessons over and over again because one day you’ll look around and realize that all the time you’ve spent has only gained you life lessons and you have nothing to show for it. Learn to spend your time like you spend your money, “budget” it so that you, nor anyone else will have the ability to misuse it. 

Move With Purpose

You deserve everything you want out of life, no matter what you’ve been through and no matter what you’ve done, therefore you should always go for what you want. The jobs you want, the type of relationships you want, the goals you want to reach etc. are all tangible to you. No matter what it is nothing should stop you from manifesting it and going for it. The problem lies in the fact that most people really don’t know what they want, they’re just walking around blindly with open ended ideas in their heads and no sense of direction. Direction and intention is everything in life, before you put your time and energy into anything or anyone you should have some sort of set outcome or idea as to what it is you want to accomplish or how you want the situation to benefit you. With no sense of direction and no intentions you’re opening up a pathway for anything to happen. If something does happen and it impacts you in a negative way, you’ll be the only person to blame because you didn’t know what you wanted from the circumstance to begin with. When you know what you want and your vision is clear it’s easier to distinguish between the people and things that will help you get what you want, which then leads to less time being wasted. Are things always going to be perfect and go your way? No, but you still have a vision for yourself and if things go wrong all you’ll need to do is change certain things in order to still grasp that set outcome for yourself. This week I want to encourage everyone to figure out what it is they want in each area of their lives and map out a plan in order to get it. Now a days we settle for too much and wonder why we aren’t happy but it starts with throughly knowing what you want in order to make yourself happy. 

Soul vs. Flesh

Wanting the best for yourself doesn’t always feel right, it’s like you’re in a constant battle with feeding your flesh and feeding your soul at the same time. The things that are good for your flesh are almost always temporary, those are the things that you bring temporary satisfaction such as; sex, changing your appearance, drugs, or having a few drunken nights out. Yes, these things are great they will send adrenaline through your body or ease your pain, which will then make you feel alive again, but when it all wears off you’ll still be left with the person you were before, this is why it’s important to feed your soul more than you feed your flesh. But the problem is you can’t do that if you can’t distinguish flesh from soul, in order to do that you have to know yourself and know what’s best for you mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I don’t have the answers for each individual because we are all different, but what I do know is, is if something is best for you your mind should feel at ease, you won’t feel like you have to control everything that’s going on around you, you’ll be able to let go and let life take you on your destined path. Even with your emotions running wild and the world falling apart around you’ll still feel grounded in yourself, that’s when you’ll know. So, take the time to find the things that are best for you, there’s no need to rush through life nor should anyone have to settle for mediocre because they feel like they are pressed for time. 

Vulnerability

Letting your guard down starts with yourself, trusting that whatever happens after you let your guard down is meant to happen and learning not to take things personally. A lot of us walk around with our guards up which leads to people only partially knowing this facade of you, but that only hurts your vulnerable side, the side that you need nourished, the side that needs to be loved and taken care of. I believe that we are all guilty of this including myself, this is one of the hardest things to master because we all want to protect our feelings rather than feel our feelings, but feelings are meant to be felt. Many of us have been through a lot of things in our lives and we feel like since we have our “tolerance” for people is lower than others but it should be the opposite, we should be sharing our testimonies and being the most open with others. If you haven’t noticed we learn and grow the most through experiences therefore if we have our guards up all the time we aren’t experiencing or sharing our truest emotions. I’m not saying that we should open up to everyone, I’m saying that sometimes the people that we have our guards up the most with might be the people who are most worthy of seeing what’s on the other side, you never know what you can learn about yourself through others observations of the real you nor should you be ashamed of the real you. The more you hide yourself the more you’ll lose yourself along the way, that then leads to the feeling that no one understands you, but no one will ever understand you if you don’t reveal your true self. We all want something real but it starts with being real. 

Content

Be content with who you are today and be content with what you have today. Often times people brag about what they have or flaunt materialistic things to depict that they’re more “successful” in some type of way, when the majority of the time they don’t really have it like that they say they do. Don’t fall in this pattern because fake success gets you no where fast and further from real success. In today’s society it’s normal for us to go on social media and see what someone else has and think to ourselves like damn I wish a had just a piece of that or if that was me I’d do this or I’d do that, but we have to learn to stop thinking like that because each time we do that we put ourselves in a box. You shouldn’t want the same thing that some else has, because if it was supposed to be yours you’d have it, but you don’t. Comparison is the thief of joy, you cannot compare someone else’s success to your own, your success will look completely different than others, but if you continue to compare yours to someone else’s you’ll never know your own success because you’re too busy measuring up what someone else has instead of focusing on your own possessions. Theres no way you’ll be blessed with more than what you have now if you’re not content with who you are and what you have at the moment. If you want success for yourself you’ll have to realize that success comes from goals that YOU set for yourself and each goal that you meet will be an accomplishment. Set more goals for yourself so that you can focus on your own success and reaching YOUR full potential not someone else’s. 

People Pleaser

The more and more you evaluate yourself you’ll begin to pick up on the little things you do unknowingly. I’ve noticed that “people pleasing” is an automatic thing we do these days. People pleasing is when someone has an emotional need to please others often at the EXPENSE of their own needs and desires. People pleasing does not get you any where for a long term, whether that be at work, socially, with family or someone you’re interested in, you’ll eventually show your true colors no matter what. It’s easy to confuse people pleasing with caring for someone or loving someone and I totally understand that, but when you are putting aside your needs and desires you’re losing yourself for the benefit of someone else, no job nor any relationship/friendship is worth that. I understand that there will be times where you’ll have to put your pride aside and make a compromise but that’s two totally different things. The point that I’m making is, each time you put yourself and your needs aside you’re slowly losing bits and pieces of yourself along the way, therefore when you get to where you wanted to be through “people pleasing” you’re not even yourself at the end of it all. Not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to love you, nor will everyone understand you, but that’s for you to do for yourself. Like yourself, love yourself, and understand yourself so much that your values, your needs and desires come first and in any situation where they are challenged, you’d think twice before putting them aside to please someone else. 

Balance

There aren’t many things we have the ability to control in this world, but one thing that we can control is our minds. We can control the way we think, how long we think about certain things, and the things we choose to see. The thoughts that run through your mind don’t come out of no where, they are your emotions running wild, your imagination taking over, while your reality is fixed to what you choose to see. Once you realize that everything that runs through your mind can be controlled by you, your thoughts and your life would be put at ease. This is what I call a healthy balance, balancing your thoughts and what we choose to see is important for those who want to control their minds. Your mind is a sacred place and many of us corrupt our minds with ill thoughts of ourselves, instead of feeding our minds with healthy thoughts. The saying “you are your worst enemy” is so true, if you tell yourself you aren’t good enough enough times your mind will start to believe it and that will translate to how you carry yourself in the long run. Your mind will have adapted to the fact that you will never be good enough and act as such. I’m not saying that every thought that runs through your mind should be a happy thought or a positive thought, I’m saying that there should be a healthy balance and the only way to control that is through you. Pay attention to what you think about, pay attention to how long you think about certain things, and most importantly pay attention to what you see. Most of our thoughts of “reality” come from the things we look at the most, sometimes we just simply have to change our realities. 

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to master, from both sides, whether someone did you wrong or you did someone else wrong, it’s a challenge to forgive either way. With both ways I’ve learned that analyzing your behavior and forgiving yourself is always the first step. When we do others wrong we have to take the time to figure out what allowed us to do someone else wrong in the first place before we can apologize for behavior that we don’t even understand ourselves. If you apologize without understanding what you’ve done wrong you can sever relationships with people in the long run due to a small misunderstanding. When someone does us wrong we have to look at ourselves as well and take the time to understand why we felt disrespected or why we allowed someone’s actions to move us. Forgiving yourself for others actions towards you is important, if you don’t evaluate and forgive yourself it leads to grudges, insecurities, and feelings of unworthiness. We can’t allow the actions of others to become us, nor can we allow our past actions to haunt us in our present lives. There is definitely more to forgiveness but I feel as though evaluating yourself and your actions should ALWAYS come first and any decisions you make after should be based off of your evaluations. Forgiveness is not easy but it is one of the most important things to learn in life, forgiveness teaches us so much about ourselves and the type of people we want around us if done right. 

Character

Practice what you preach and be who you “say” you are. This is the number one flaw with many people today, everyone has an opinion about someone else’s lives and what they’re doing wrong with their lives and not enough input on their own and that’s where character comes into play. Your character is how people will perceive you no matter what you’re saying out of your mouth, no matter if you’re preaching the good gospel or giving life advice, no one will hear you if you don’t practice what you preach. Often times the people that are speaking know what they are talking about through experiences but have not CHANGED from their experiences which makes it hard for people to grasp the concept when they see no valid outcome. This is why I say it’s important to speak not preach about life experiences with people because we can learn and grow from each other which is the point of relationships. What we fail to do is speak life into these situations, instead we scare people off by making it seem like there’s only one outcome for mistakes, which is completely wrong. The point that I’m making is in order for people to grow we must speak life into situations, we can’t expect everyone to understand where we are coming from if we haven’t even got to where we are going because we are all still learning. The learning doesn’t stop each day there’s a new lesson to be learned but speak amongst one another, don’t preach take the time to understand one another so the message is throughly RECEIVED. If you were once in someone’s position think about how you would have wanted the advice given to you? 

Love (continued)

Love is about appreciation, not possession. Again, love is the act of appreciating not possessing. To appreciate means to be grateful of and to recognize full worth of something without changing anything and I think that’s exactly what love is supposed to be about, no matter what kind of love it is; self love, love for a significant other, friendly love, and/or family love. No matter how you look at it, you should be appreciating the people you say you “love” and if it’s anything other than appreciation then it’s not real love. Love and lust are two different things that can be mixed up very easily, I look at lust in the same way, I believe lust is the act of appreciation and possession of ones body and mind. See with lust you can actually possess ones mind and have some type of control over them, often times we look past the possession part because lust does our body good and it feels good to know someone wants to own you or you own someone else, but lust doesn’t do any good to our souls, our true selves, it suppresses the true version of yourself and allows a different person to unfold. Therefore, if you have a choice, which you do, choose love every time, specifically self love. Self love is like a gateway, it will lead you to where you are destined to be. 

Confidence

You must have confidence in your present, confidence in your future, and most importantly confidence in your past. Many of us walk around regretting some of the choices we made when we were younger, when we were less wiser, but the choices that you made are what brought you where you are today, and if you’re not confident in who you are it’s because you’re still dwelling in the past. In order for us to truly change and become the people we are destined to be we have to let go of the past. You cannot go back and change anything you have done, we all know that, the only thing you can make changes to is your present and your future but if you’re dwelling in the past then you’re missing out on both. Lessons are to be learned, be confident that every choice that you made was to improve you, though it may not have been right at that moment you needed whatever that was for the benefit of your future, learn from it, move on from it and let it go. Be confident in every choice that you make going forward and be confident in your own abilities and qualities. There is only one you, this is all you get, be present. 

Frequencies

Every relationship you have should be mutually beneficial, whether that be friends, family members or significant others. Meaning I water you, you grow; you water me, I grow. Just because you grew up with someone or have known someone for many years throughout your life doesn’t mean you have to actively participate in that relationship. Same thing with family members and significant others, blood nor love justifies dealing with someone continuously. Every encounter you have with a person has a frequency of energies, these frequencies can range from low to high, which is normal, but the question at hand is, what is that energy consisting of? Often times we neglect to really pay attention to the energies around us because we are too far focused on everything else that’s going on in the world to really focus on what’s actually happening with ourselves. The problem is is if someone that you’re actively in some type of relationship with always has bad energy they are transferring that energy on you whether you know it or not. This is why it is important to evaluate, not judge, ourselves and the people around us constantly because these are the people you are continuously exchanging frequencies with the most. If you start to pay more attention to your energy after hanging out with people or after conversations with people you’ll begin to notice the ones that give you good energy that feeds your soul and the ones that give you bad energy which weighs down your soul. 

See-Saw Effect

Once you get the pattern of life you can easily see that life has its ups and its downs, I like to call it the see-saw effect. What gets us the most is when the weight is on our side of the see-saw and we are down, I feel like these are the moments that we dwell in, these are the moments that we remember the most instead of when the weight is on the other side of the see-saw and we are at our high points. Dwelling in the weight of the world gets us no where in life, it only makes us tired and unhappy, we need to start focusing on the good and the positive moments that are happening in our life in order to keep the momentum going for the see-saw. It is inevitable to stop the hard times that come with life, I think we all know that, but it’s what we do with those hard times that count. If you haven’t noticed everyone, not just you, goes through trying times in their life, but the ones who refocus themselves during their hard times instead of dwelling in their sorrows ALWAYS get something better for themselves in the end. Casting your problems to the other side of the see-saw relieves the weight from you and allows you to focus on the things that make you happy and what’s best for you. In those moments is where your side of the see-saw will continuously rise up. There will always be trials in tribulations in life, but it’s up to us to hold on to them or not. This week I want to challenge everyone to let go of what’s holding you down, release all your problems and focus on what makes you happy, at the end of the day we all are here on this earth for a limited time, therefore you should spend most of it at your high points.

A Message to Women

Being a woman comes with so much baggage, we must carry ourselves a certain way, we must be respectful and polite because if we aren’t then we will be labeled as unpleasant or crazy. That’s our reality it comes with the territory, you must understand that. As women we set the standard, the standard for other women, children, and especially men to follow. As women we have the ability to influence the world, therefore we must be conscious of our thoughts and what we put out in the world. One of the problems with women now is that we get hurt and we use that hurt to hurt others or spread negativity because we don’t want to harbor those emotions ourselves. That’s the pattern in today's society, a man does us wrong, we go to social media to bash him and his behavior, that then brings attention from him and other males to come in and save us, but in reality, you’re attracting what you’re putting out. The negative things you said about someone that has hurt you has attracted other men to believe that they can come in a save you or make you feel better in some type of way, when in reality you should be using that energy to be nourishing yourself and fixing yourself to attract better than what you once had. As women we are emotional beings hence the reason why we harbor emotions and can feel more emotions than men. What differentiates the strong women from the weak is that the strong women have the ability to control and balance those emotions and turn them into good. It’s okay to be hurt, it’s okay to feel resentment but don’t allow these emotions to make you bitter or defeat you. Once you turn bitter or you’ve been defeated you’ll begin to devalue yourself and I think from there we all can guess what might happen. This week I want to challenge us women to try to control our emotions and really dig in deep within ourselves to figure out what it is we want in life, we are the assets without us nothing is possible, please don’t forget who you are.

Commitment

Committing should be the first step in anything you’re trying to do for yourself. Whether that be losing weight, changing your mindset, or chasing a goal. Getting your mind around commitment is harder than the actual task at hand. The problem that we face is the small voice in our heads that tells us we aren’t capable of doing it or that tells us to put it on hold. I think it’s safe to say that many of us run away from commitment because it would mean that we would have to actually stick with a task for a period of time and see whatever it is we are doing through to the finish line. Throughout that time there will be ups and downs and you will get discouraged but at the end you’ll be able to say that you committed and conquered. Once you make your mind up to actually committing to something doing it becomes like clock work, for instance; every morning most of us wake up and check our social media, that’s something we have committed to doing everyday so it became normal to us, our minds are already wired to check them so technically we don’t have to use any mental strength to tell ourselves to do so. That’s what I mean by clock work, our brains adapt to what we continuously do. If we continuously second guess ourselves we will never be able to commit to anything we try to do. We all can say we want to do something or change something about ourselves but if we can’t commit it just becomes an idea. If someone were to tell you they were going to do something several times and never follow through you would make that person out to be unreliable or a liar. We must look at ourselves in the same light, treat yourself how you want to be treated, if we make up our minds to do something for ourselves we have to follow through as well. Your word is like bond and if you cannot commit to yourself how will you be able to commit to anyone or anything else.

Accountability

The choices you make now determine your future. The choices to let go or hold on to people/things in your life also determine the situations you are placed in. If you haven’t noticed, everything you do in your life has a domino effect, many people call this good or bad “karma”, call it what you want but no matter what it's YOU that makes the choices and there will always be some sort of outcome from the choices that you’ve made. Many times we try to blame others or certain situations for why our lives aren’t right or why things aren’t going our way, but at the end of the day it’s you who made the choice to keep or get rid of certain people or things in your life, it’s you that made the choice to continue negative behavior no one else. Once we realize that it’s us that can make our lives better and become more accountable for our actions our lives will become more understandable, not easy but understandable. We will be able to see things with a clear view and be able to make better choices. The older we get the more wiser we should become, but if we continue to make the same mistakes we have no growth, so as you get older become more selective with the situations you place yourself in, be picky with who you choose to associate with because if things go wrong there is no one else to blame but yourself. This week lets try to be more accountable for the things we say and the things we do, accountability is one of the first steps in improving behavior.

For your eyes only

Every persons reality is different. Your eyes have only seen what you’ve seen, your hands have only touched what you’ve touched, and your mind only thinks what you think. Remember these facts when you feel like you have to compare yourself to someone else, your walk is different, your talk is different, therefore you can’t even compare yourself to anyone else or anyone else’s experiences. Trust that the experiences you have been through will lead you to wherever you need to go, never compare or contrast your life with someone else’s because you’ll never fully understand how they got to where they are nor will they understand how you got to where you are. When you compare you put a damper on your experiences through life to see someone else’s life through your own eyes and at that point you are living someone else’s reality, not yours. 

Frame of Mind

Live your life without bounds. There are no limits to what you can do. Whatever you put your mind to and have passion for is attainable to you, no matter what you’ve been through and no matter where you've come from.  In order to live like this it starts with your mindset, how you view yourself, and how you view others as well. A negative mind set will only bring you down, telling yourself you can’t do something is just you not supporting your own self. If you don’t support yourself there’s no way others will fully support you. You have to believe in yourself before anyone else can believe in you, you are your best spokesperson. If you notice you’re being negative about certain things in your life or you just want change in your life, change your mindset, figure out who you are, take time to figure out what you like and what you want in life, not just the surface... what you really want, where you see yourself years from now and then do something about it. You can't just sit around and wait for something to change in your life, you have to get up make things happen for yourself.  It will be challenging but it starts with finding yourself, knowing yourself, and then staying true to yourself, don’t get distracted with what's happening around you and what you see everyday, having a strong mindset will battle off any adverse thought that comes to your mind.

Self Respect

The energy you give out is the energy you receive. When others don’t show you the same respect that you’ve given them don’t fall short of yourself, stay true to who you are, allowing someone’s attitude or demeanor towards you effect who you are as a person only brings you down. If you put out  positive energy and respect others as you want to be respected, blessings come back to you ten fold. Harboring negative energy will only bring negative things into your life. With that being said be happy, be thankful, and most importantly be respectful you never know what someone is battling and each encounter with someone counts. So this week try to be respectful to others no matter your feelings or their feelings towards you, you can only control your emotions not theirs. 

Stepping Stones

Just when you thought things were going good for you, just when you thought you were finally getting what you prayed for, what you were patient and diligent for, but something or someone comes in a swoops all of those anticipative feelings away and you feel like you’re back at square 1. Im not sure about y’all but I feel like this happens to me very often, and I begin to second guess all the decisions that I’ve made that lead up to me feeling that way. But before I can get in that depressive state where I tell myself nothings going right and everything is wrong I have to remind myself that anything worth standing on takes time to build. The obstacles in the way just make way for a stronger testimony. If you think about it, nobody is going to want to hear someone’s story that has been handed everything, I don’t want to hear about someone always getting what they want, I want to hear the stories of people who worked for what they got, who went through hell and back and still conquered. Those are the stories that give me hope and remind me that I’m going through my own testimony as we well. So don’t look at your obstacles as something holding you back, instead realize that the rejections that you’ll receive will be part of the reason why you’ll eventually receive your blessings.

LOVE

Everyone’s favorite subject “love”. I don’t have a thorough definition for love myself because I’m still in the process of loving, but I do believe I have truly known it once. I have known love once because I’ve went through all the phases with that particular love, including grief, which some would say is the final act of love. I agree with that. I believe that we have many loves in life and they all continue throughout our lives until we have had that final act of grief. I think we fall short of love many times because we don’t allow people to be themselves nor do we know ourselves enough to love properly. Love is an active thing, meaning it is always moving, it is never stagnant therefore, we must grow through love or we will miss out on its true nature. Once we get comfortable with “love” it ceases to be its true form, which leads us to replace it with other things such as lust, hate, or jealousy.  But each love is different, some love is only for a season, some love is for a lifetime, but it is still love, it should still exist in your heart.  We shouldn’t take the bad experiences we have had with love and shift them into different feelings just because that particular love is no longer progressing. In order to understand that and recognize love when it comes we must first love ourselves in every aspect of our lives. I know that there are going to be times when we aren’t feeling ourselves or we may be going through a struggle, but we still must love our selves because we are growing. You’ll never be able to love properly if you think love is perfect because it’s not, love feels like shit sometimes but when love is done right it’s one of the best feelings in the world, no drug could ever compare to the high that love gives you. Love trumps all things and love wins every time. I’m still learning myself, so I know I don’t possess all the answers but what I can tell you from experience is; even though the love that I knew isn’t growing anymore it still lives inside of me, it helps me get through my hard times and it has made me who I am today. I try to do everything with love because I know that those who possess love in their hearts will feel me and for those who don't, I have hope that one day they will. 

To be continued....

Divine Order

I no longer live my life with the fear of not knowing because I’ve given my all to a foreseeing God. I think we fail to realize that our steps are ordered, we have all been placed here to do exactly what we are doing. God knew that I was going to wake up at 4 this morning and write; just like he knew that Ermias Asghedom was going to ascend to heaven and change all of our lives for the greater good. It’s about the impact; it’s about trusting and believing in Him. Let me explain myself a little more before I get too deep... I consider myself a Christian yes, but I do not have the same exact values as “most” Christians do, I value self overall. I believe that if you are your best self you can help others... assuming that if you are not your best self you shouldn’t be giving lessons to other people.. I admit that you can be an example but you shouldn’t be telling others what to do... now back to the main point. Our steps are ordered meaning; if we give our lives to God the circumstances around us won’t have an immoderate affect on our purposeful lives. Every one of us has a purpose with God, whether your purpose has a minute or an immense impact, it’s still a part of Gods systematic plan. I say this a lot but, we see things and we get discouraged, that discouragement shifts our whole being, it opens up a pathway for doubt, loneliness, and unhappiness. Yet, if we would have just given whatever it was that made us feel that discomfort to God, it would have been handled way before our being shifted. Like I said our steps are ordered... so why not give all your problems to someone who knows the best solution before you do? 

Sustenance

Put your energy into people and things that reciprocate energy back. Your soul is alive therefore it needs nourishment just like our bodies. We must feed our souls with good things; love, kindness, joy etc. Stop wasting your time trying to figure out people and why they are the way they are. Stop wasting your time trying to figure out why something that you want isn’t working out for you. I’m not saying that you must give up on people or the things you “think” you want in life, but sometimes moving on can help you realize that you’re either doing the right thing or it’s been wrong all along. Therefore, move on to something different and try new things if you notice your energy is being depleted. You are your best advocate for yourself and if you’re not at your best how can you represent your true self.

Take a hike with me

Speak light unto darkness so that your spirit never wearies. Allow your light to shine through whatever journey your feet take you. Don’t be discouraged by what you see but listen and take note to what you feel. Understand your feelings and listen to them, remember them so that you never forget what made you feel that way. Understand it and move on from it a better person with lessons for the next. We can all improve each other if we speak of our journeys with one another, not one mans path is the same but when you cross paths you will create a trail. 

Time

What is your concept of time? Is time relevant to you? To me, time is the way you look, how you carry yourself, the way you act. We have been given time to put pressures on ourselves, but time isn’t really real. Time is just a figment of your own imagination. Each and every day is exactly the same; you just do different things on each day. So in reality time is you and what you do with your energy. The energy you put out either adds to your "time" or it takes away from your "time".

ME

What you think is what you see, what you see is what you feel. Everything that plays out in your life comes from within. Our minds are pure; our minds are golden, so why should we corrupt them with ill thoughts? Just a little food for thought, my name is Micah Baham and I'm on a journey to find the true meaning of self, so I decided to start a blog so whoever wants to read it or is fascinated by what I'm doing is welcome to come along this journey with me. I've been through a lot in my life but I'm sure if you stick with my blog you'll find out more about me. I am very opinionated so if you are sensitive then don't come here, but I will accept those who are sensitive and opinionated as well, I love some good old feedback. So yeah, welcome I'm happy for you to come along this journey with me!