TWISTED THOUGHTS

Constantly battling my inner self to try not to offend anyone else. But it seems like whatever I do ends up offending someone new. 

If I’m confident in myself, my mind, body and soul, they’ll say I’m too much too handle and try to dismantle. 

If I show too much skin they’ll end up saying I’m trying to get attention and if I don’t show enough they’ll try to say that I’m cuffed. 

Either way they’ll try to stomp on my parade with their judgmental opinion like they have more knowledge from the outside looking in.

Now a days we’re so used to women being insecure and only posting pictures to lure, but men like that, so she’ll get a pat on her back because they’ll know how to deal with that. 

Preying on her every weakness just to get her between the sheets and dip, but speaking badly on me because I can tell when a man is phony. 

I’m sorry if I offend you but my confidence speaks for itself, so fuck you and anyone else. I never needed your opinions I’m dope as fuck without the mentions. 

Pressure

Pressure either makes diamonds or burst pipes, either or there’s no way around pressure. Pressure shows us the paths that we are supposed to be on; sort of like a test to our faith, a test to our hearts and a test to our desires. In life you should be going after everything you truly desire because everything you desire, desires you back. Pressure only breaks us when we go after things that don’t desire us back. As people we show up for the things we want when put under pressure, if you want that degree you’ll study, if you really want that job you’ll show your ass off in the interview, if you  really want that person you’ll do whatever it takes to get them. You’ll never fold under pressure when it’s something that desires you back. What’s meant for you will always be meant for you and when you learn to truly believe that things will always work out in the favor of your true desires. I encourage everyone to pay attention to when they break under pressure, learn to understand what the test was trying to teach you about the path you’re on. Pressure is either meant to break you or mold you, either way it allows you to become who you are supposed to be. Trust it. 

TWISTED THOUGHTS

My emotions hit like a waves, some days low but it’s high tide today. 

The thought of you fills my body with pain because I know I’ll never see you again. 

The memories of you fill my heart with joy and they’re the reason why I can cancel out all the noise. 

You would think after all these years it wouldn’t effect me like this but no one truly knows what it’s like to miss, it’s something that I can’t have back that why I stay on track. 

Because I know one day I’ll see you in the afterlife only if I play my cards on earth right. 

Which is why I do my due diligence and treat people with respect even if they never mention it. 

I know this life isn’t about me but sometimes it gets hard you see? 

Living in a world where people are so full of themselves and never care about the next persons health. 

So I’ll continue to treat people with love cause you taught me to leave this world better than it was. 

Think Before You Speak

“Life or death is in the power of the tongue”, meaning you can think all the negative and nasty things you want, but as soon as you speak them, they cannot be taken back. This is why it’s important to think before you speak and to always come from an honest place when you are speaking. Our emotions run wild when we are dealing with situations that allow them to take over and speak themselves, but you have to try to remember that your emotions don’t run you.  If you allow them to run you, you’ll be living a life of constant ups and downs, an emotional roller coaster. Spewing out hate, negativity, or cursing someone is never the answer, instead you should lead  with patience and a calm mind. Emotions are only for a moment, if you haven’t noticed they never last longer than the situation at hand. In the same manner that your body tells you to eat when you’re hungry, you have to tell your mind to chill when your emotions are starting to take over. If this a challenge for you, I encourage you not to speak, sometimes silence is the best response for yourself. The last word isn’t always the best word, keep it to yourself because most of the time you truly won’t mean what you say the next day. We aren’t young anymore, apologies don’t work like they used to, learn to control your words before they start to control you. 

TWISTED THOUGHTS

The word “Love” gets tossed around so much you’d think it was a drug, sold on every corner at the highest price and the high ain’t even all that nice. 

See it’s been cut with all types of shit, and it seems like only fools can handle it. 

For me, I’ll settle for “Lust”, at least it comes with just a little bit of trust.

Trust for you to take my body to worlds that I never imagined and have me following all your commands as if you were the captain. 

There are no add ons or preservatives, so you know the high is pure and worth the hit. 

Now that high can’t be compared, because it shows up as what it is, fair and square. 

The quality of “Love” these days is cheap, so I’ll settle for “Lust” cause that shit ain’t made for the weak. 

TWISTED THOUGHTS

Just because I’m comfortable in my solitude doesn’t mean I’m ignoring you or being rude. 

I just find time to myself more fulfilling than I find time with anyone else. Reciprocation is never a concern in my solitude and I find myself managing a consistent mood. 

The mood of me. the mood of free. The mood of reciprocative energy. 

I’m learning to give myself everything I want and learning that it’s okay to flaunt. 

So I will continue to boast about the love that I discovered instead of trying to keep it covered. 

I know to you it seem like I’m living carefree, but I’m taking the sacrifice so that others may discover self love for themselves through me. 

Autopilot

When you truly believe that whatever is meant for you will be for you, you won’t have to try to force anything in your life. By human nature we feel like we have to be in control of everything, but the soul knows that our life’s path has already been laid out for us and that it is up to us to allow it to come to fruition. When we fight or go off our divine courses we make life harder for ourselves to the point where we start to doubt our minds, doubt our wants and doubt our needs. The soul nor mind works well in the mentality of fear or doubt, and once we realize that fear and doubt are just mindsets and not our realities the path of life becomes less forced. When you get rid of fear your life’s choices don’t seem as scary and your mistakes turn into lessons learned instead of fear of making the same mistakes again. Your doubts turn into calculated risks instead of lack of trust for yourself and others. Once you get rid of the both the choices that you are supposed to make will stand out more than the ones that aren’t meant for you. The path of life you take depends on you, but fear nor doubt are in the path that is destined for you, choose wisely. 

TWISTED THOUGHTS

A woman with so much depth can’t be checked, nor can she be kept. 

Every move she makes comes with a purpose so dealing with her will make life worth it. 

It seems as though she lives her life on the edge and that she barely thinks with her head. But it’s her heart that she follows even though she acts as if it’s hollow. 

Those that feel her can see beyond the real her, her passion speaks for itself and is worth way more than generational wealth. 

If it was up to her she’d share her knowledge with the world but she knows the world comes with envy and greed 

and a woman with so much depth is bound to have enemies. 

So she only shares herself with a select few, constantly opening up herself to them hoping that one day they’ll see life through her birds-eye view. 

In Due Time

There’s a common misconception that time waits for no man, but a wise man knows that time is just a figment of our imaginations and that we make time the variable that it is. What you do with yourself and how you think when you’re alone is the only time that matters. When you pay attention and focus on the things that better you as a person time seems nonexistent because your patience is participating with you and not working against you. We only believe that time is running out for us when we are either moving towards something that isn’t within our grasps or when we are anticipating things that are beyond our control. The point of the matter is is that, what you do with yourself is how much your time is worth to someone else, if you pour into yourself others will have no choice but to pour into you and vice versa. You’ll begin to notice what others do with their time without even having to spend time with them, the aura that you give off when you find yourself valuable cannot be missed by someone else who believes the same. It is up to us to make our time valuable so others can make it valuable as well, it all starts with you.

TRANSITIONING

Last day of being 24, last day of thinking I ever needed more. 

Last time I’ll second guess myself or think I need material wealth.

Everything I have is within me, no man, no amount of money will ever complete me. I am already whole and my mind is filled with goals. 

Goals that I will complete because I know it’s apart of my divine destiny. 

The first 24 was a learning lesson, even though there were hard times I’ll always look at it as a blessing. 

But I know there’s much more in store for 25, I know that these will be the best times of my life. 

I know myself better than I ever did before and that in itself is the greatest gift, I couldn’t ask God for more.